Ignored

For the longest time
I have ignored
that voice inside;
the voice that whispers,
the voice that urges,
the voice that says,
I can love again.

Ignoring that voice,
ignoring that beat,
ignoring that feeling,
worked well for me.

I lived the life
that's unexpected of me.
I lived the life
that nobody chose for me.
I lived life
one day at a time,
ignoring that voice,
the whispers,
the urges,
the beat,
the feeling.

Unaware,
unprepared,
caught
with my guard down,
you happened to me.

The whispers
were louder.
The urges
were stronger.
The feeling
more intense.
The beat,
oh,
more powerful
than ever.

I tried
to supress them.
I tried
to ignore them.
All efforts
were nothing
but failure.

I was out
of options;
I had to
give in.

One day at a time,
I lived
the life that
is expected of me,
the life that
is deemed normal;
my metamorphosis began.

Slowly and unsure,
I changed for you.
I thought
it was working
because I got
closer to you.
Little did I know,
I was just
a friend to you.

I thought
there was more.
I knew
I wanted more.

I might have
mixed the signals.
I might have
misread the signs.
I am
just a friend.
Nothing more,
nothing less.

My metamorphosis
should not have
involved my heart
spliting.
However,
that' what happened
and it's all because
of you.

You broke me heart,
shattered it into pieces;
you ignored
my feelings too.

Now,
I despise you.

I can't be
your friend.
I can't let
things go.

I'll live this life
going forward
because I know
that it is right.

However,
as my metamorphosis
and my journey
continues,
ignored will be
that voice,
that beat,
that feeling,
and that urge...

...too bad,

ignored,
you will
also be.