Ignored

For the longest time
I have ignored
that voice inside;
the voice that whispers,
the voice that urges,
the voice that says,
I can love again.

Ignoring that voice,
ignoring that beat,
ignoring that feeling,
worked well for me.

I lived the life
that's unexpected of me.
I lived the life
that nobody chose for me.
I lived life
one day at a time,
ignoring that voice,
the whispers,
the urges,
the beat,
the feeling.

Unaware,
unprepared,
caught
with my guard down,
you happened to me.

The whispers
were louder.
The urges
were stronger.
The feeling
more intense.
The beat,
oh,
more powerful
than ever.

I tried
to supress them.
I tried
to ignore them.
All efforts
were nothing
but failure.

I was out
of options;
I had to
give in.

One day at a time,
I lived
the life that
is expected of me,
the life that
is deemed normal;
my metamorphosis began.

Slowly and unsure,
I changed for you.
I thought
it was working
because I got
closer to you.
Little did I know,
I was just
a friend to you.

I thought
there was more.
I knew
I wanted more.

I might have
mixed the signals.
I might have
misread the signs.
I am
just a friend.
Nothing more,
nothing less.

My metamorphosis
should not have
involved my heart
spliting.
However,
that' what happened
and it's all because
of you.

You broke me heart,
shattered it into pieces;
you ignored
my feelings too.

Now,
I despise you.

I can't be
your friend.
I can't let
things go.

I'll live this life
going forward
because I know
that it is right.

However,
as my metamorphosis
and my journey
continues,
ignored will be
that voice,
that beat,
that feeling,
and that urge...

...too bad,

ignored,
you will
also be.

Courage

On the walls
I see your face.
The lovely smile,
your teasing grin,
etched in my memory,
as the days go by
and my feelings for you
grow stronger.

My heart leaps
each and every time
I hear your voice.
Every word
you utter,
every sound
you make,
is music to my ears.

I melt
each time
you look at me
for your eyes
are warm.
The glitter
and the sparkle
that they have
bring light
into my life.

I always
long
to see you.
I cravce
to hear
your voice.
I have
always wished
we could be
together
and that it
could last
forever.

Etched
in my mind,
and locked
in my heart
you will
always be.
My love
for you
will never
vanish.

There is one thing
I seek,
one thing I wish
I had.
I hope
one day
I'll have the courage
to hold your hand;
the courage
to look deep
into your eyes;
the courage
to say
I will love you
always
and forever.

Until I get
that courage,
my feelings
wil remain
hidden.
Friends,
we will
always be.
I just wish
that you can
wait for me.

For Her

I don't know
what it is;
I don't know
how and when
or why it happened.
All I know
is it did.
And that now,
all I am
is confused.

I tried to think it over;
maybe it's just a fluke,
maybe it's all the jokes,
maybe it's just me, or
maybe this is it.

I confided with my friends.
They were shocked.
They were happy.
They all said
I should change.

To change the subtle gestures,
To change the flamboyant actions,
To change the person
that you got to know
as a friend.

But then,
I asked myself,
Why should I change?
Why can you not like me,
for the person that I am?
Why should I try to be
the person
that I am not?

The answer is simple:
so that you'll like me,
so that you'll notice me.

Should I change
or should I not?

Confusing as things are,
one thing is black and white,
I am falling for you.

It's a risk.
One that I
am willing to take.
The consequences are severe:
your friendship I could lose
however,
your heart I could win.

To change or
not to change?
The answer,
I do not know.

One thing is
sure and true,
that is,
I love you!