Seamen

Well...I am now back to blogging about the updates that I owe all of you. I have started with the month of January with the wedding of my close friend Julie Ann. January also opened up my eyes to what Filipino overseas workers do when they are far away from home. Now, I am not saying that all of them do it, but this is what I had witnessed.

A friend of mine invited me to come to a party on a boat. Of course I came coz I love parties and free food. When we got there...it wasn't the boat that I was hoping. It as actaully a ship...not a cruise ship either, it's more like a freight carrier. When we got there, it wasn't just us there were a lot of other Filipinas who were already partying it up with the Filipino seamen. Then I realzed something...these men who are out there in the middle of nowhere just surrounded by water 6 months at a time are really looking for sex once the ship docks somewhere...and that is why they throw these so called "parties"...then throw some women who can't get a boyfriend coz they are either fugly or too busy to socialize coz they are working 24/7...you will then have a party filled with people who are looking to get laid. Now, I am not int othis kind of thing, but since there was free food, alcohol, and karaoke...I was sort of having a little bit of fun...and the guys were actually really nice. When the unholy hours started ticking, couples started disappearing...and nextthing you know...I was all alone in the "party" room. I didn't appreciate this at all. I just hope that my friend who invited me to this party could have informed me that she was looking to get laid. I wouldn't have come then. Nonetheless, I was there...bored as hell coz there was no WiFi reception, there was no cable signal either...I wanted to shoot myself. So, I wasn't about to be left alone...I got into my bitch gear and called up my friend and demanded that we leave right away.

It's just amazes me what length people would go to just to get laid. Anyways, next time somebody asks you to go on a party up on a boat, ASK QUESTIONS.

Not Ready To Make Nice

Last night, I had a fight with my dad. It's one of the many that we have had, and I know it won't be the last - I am actually looking forward to more fights that we will be having in the future.

I just have to say that I DO NOT really like my dad. I never grew up with a dad, or at least it did not feel like I had a dad. He was there to put me through school and for almost all the material things that I needed, but other than that, he was a big void in my life.

My dad never bought me a bike, he never taught me how to ride one. My dad never took me in one of those father and son trips where all you do is spend the day with each other and bond. My dad promised me A LOT of things and NONE of which were fulfilled. I guess promises are meant to be broken after all. To say the least, I was very disappointed. One would think that he would do right by me consideringthe fact that he pretty much experienced the same thing when he was growing up.

I could go on and rant about my dad and what he did to me, but I won't. I guess all that I am trying to say is that I am not ready to make nice...and I don't think that I ever will. So, I guess this Dixie Chicks song is for my dad...

Moving On

Honestly, I wanted to name this entry, "It ain't over 'til it's over".

Why? It's because Jonathan and I are talking again. However, I just realized that no matter how much I pursue this, or work on the relationship, it WILL NEVER WORK.

Jonathan just turned 17 and I will be turning 26 in about 2 weeks. Considering the age gap that we have, I know that we will never see eye to eye in a lot of things. When September rolls in, he will be back in HIGH SCHOOL and I will be working. In school, he will be with a lot of guys that he would most likely find more attractive than I am...and the most important thing is that they would be around his age. I understand that Jonathan still has A LOT of growing up to do. He also has a lot of things to learn and experience. I am not sure that I am ready to go back into my teen years and experience the same stuff AGAIN. As much as I would like to take this journey with him, I know deep inside that he has to wander and fly by himself and grow up. It's SAD, I know. The least that I can do is hope that someday, somewhere, our paths would cross again and hopefully that time, we will be given the chance to be together.

Like what I have told Jonathan before, once that I like someone, I will always have a special place in my heart for them...that is until they give me a reason to hate them. Nonetheless, I will really miss Jonathan...I will miss the late night talks, the flirting, the laughs, and most especially, the way that he made me feel.

I wish that I didn't fall too fast, but I guess that's just the way that I am. Until my broken heart is fully mended, I will just be singing the song below. Click on it if you want to hear my theme song for the next couple of weeks.

Well, now that I am done (hopefully) blogging about my whirlwind of a summer romance, I will continue blogging about the updates that I owe all of you.

It's Over

It's OVER!!!

My summer romance ended as fast as it started! In exactly 7 days, I was elated, I was in love, and I got my heart broken. To say the least, I had been PLAYED by a 17 year old guy. I guess you can't really expect him to date a 26 year old guy like me. I am fine with that. I can live with the fact that there will be guys who will not want me, or will not take me for the way that I am. The thing that hurts the most about this 7 day whirlwind of a romance is that I was lead on to believe that there was something, when there was absolutely nothing. I HATE that.

I will live. I have been hurt before, but like all wounds this will take some time. I hate the fact that I always fall so fast, but I guess that's just the way that I am.

It's a good thing that I am Filipino, I have a lot of sad love songs to choose from.